Healthy Communication in Families

Assalamualaikum.

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well”. -John Marshall-

Based on my understanding, this quotation means listening is a key to start a conversation. If you are not listening, how can you get along in conversation?

Basically, my topic is about communication, and I’m going to write about “How to Build a Healthy Communication in Families?” 

What is communication? 

It is an activity of conveying information through the exchange of thoughts, messages and information by speech, visuals, signals, writing or behaviour. 

What about family? 

Family is a group of people who are related to each other (consisting parents, children, grandparents, aunts and uncles).

Why is it important? 

Communication is one of the most basic building blocks for a family if they want to build close, healthy and loving relationship. Therefore, in order to have a healthy communication in families, we have to start with open communication first, then practice communicate frequently between family members, and lastly, parents must set a good role model to the children.

Firstly, I would like to elaborate more on my first main point: A good communication starts with open communication. Open communication means, the messages are flowing easily and freely with no fear of censorship. To have this kind of communication, family members must learn to communicate in an honest and open way. How? According to the Oakville Parent-Child Centre, the families most successful in communicating with each other have not set up roles or rules as it can block honest communication. When the family members are welcome to express their thoughts or feelings, it creates good atmosphere where everybody feels comfortable and nothing to hide from. Besides, we have to listen to one another as well as speak with each other. We have to listen actively to create effective listening. Actively listen means, we are able to pick up and understand the verbal and non-verbal messages. While effective listening involves a respectful attitude, concentration, eye contact, and an effort to stop and think about when to be silent and when/how to respond. So, the chance of misunderstanding is lessened.

Secondly, family members should strive to communicate frequently with each other-even if conversations take place in the car, this is an opportunity parents and children should take advantage of. Parents’ role is important to make time in everyone’s busy schedule and put their own pursuits aside for a short time to talk about things. Bedtime also is the best time for you to have a little chat with your child. Or you can spend at least 10 minutes a day if you are too busy with your work and make sure there is no distraction (television, or other device). While one person is trying to talk to you, please give undivided attention so that they feel loved and valued. Other than that, use eating time as a practice to communicate with each other. Jodi Spicer once said, “Eating together as a family can teach good communication skills such as listening patiently, and expressing one’s opinion in a respectful manner.”

 

Last but not least, parents need to set up a good role model to the children. In a sense of using words and tones in your voice that you want your children to use or else, your children will end up being the person with no manner. Make sure also your tone of voice and what you do send the same message. For example, if you laugh when you say, “no don’t do that,” the message will be confusing. This usually happens when you are giving instructions or advices. It is important to have a clear and direct in your instruction. Meaning, messages are delivered directly and plainly from one another. Once you get the message across, do not wear out your point. If you use words to describe your feelings, it will help your children to do the same. When parents use feeling words such as, “it makes me feel sad when you won’t do what I ask you to do,” instead of screaming or name calling, children learn to do the same.

In a nut shell, to build a healthy communication in families, three important steps are taken which are; practice open communication, communicate frequently between family members and parents need to set a good role model to the children. 

And before I end my writing, I’d like to quote a Spanish proverb, “An ounce of blood is worth more than a pound of friendship,” which means our family is everything. Thus, love your family by communicating with each other to keep the bond stronger and everlasting. Don’t wait until it’s too late! 

Till then, ma'assalamah :)

-Academic Communication 2012-