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ma'assalamah

Those days...

I still remember the 'kamcheng'ness between my brother and I. Epi and Sarah

Epi. He's a year older than me, that's why we are so close like 'belangkas'. I would follow everything that he does. The reason why we are so close besides the age factor is...because we were alienated from our two elder sisters, k.yong and k.ngah. WHY?? Because we were annoying! hahaha. Until now, I think that I am annoying, ngeh3~

My brother likes to imitate the 'bebelan' or anything that he does not like to hear from the two sisters, plus he likes to 'menyibuk' with the girls thing. Which k.yong and k.ngah thinks that's annoyed them. And me? Because I'm the queen of tears, haha. *Well everyone knows that* 

So, it's like we are unimportant to them. So, we made our own way.

We played together, sleep together, and solat together. He plays what I play, and I play what he played. But, he does not play Barbie, hehe. Oh oh! Because he's afraid of it, ahaha. It means, I played what boys played and so does he in the other way around. But one thing that I couldn't do is 'panjat pokok', haha because I am afraid, thinking what if the tree trunk broke and I fall? Oh no no...tp rugi lah den xdapek nak meghaso. 

What do you expect when girls do the boys' activities? Of course the tendency for me to cry is high right? (tear-ry lady) Sbb lasak kan..haha. But, one thing that makes me proud of him is, he will first to say sorry. I still remember the dialog:

"Ok, ok, Epi minta maaf. Salam. Salam. Ustazah kata tak baik gaduh-gaduh, kena minta maaf balik, kena salam. Minta maaf ye." 

Haha, tercengang den dongar. Well, I'm a person that easily comforted, so we played again like there's nothing happened. And until now, he will say sorry first. Somehow I think, he does not hold his ego for women..thumbs up!

Talking about sleeping together, I still remember one night I suddenly cried (well, for a person yang kuat ngigau dan kuat bermimpi). I don't know if I cried too loud or what, but he woke up and say,

"Dah..dah, jangan nangis. Shh...xde apa2.." and he pat his hand on my shoulder..haha. I would say that he is sooo sweet. Hahaha

Those days...(smile) I still remember and missed the moment bro!

When it comes to Solat, the funniest thing I discover about him is...He does not recite Al-Fatihah after the takbiratulihram. He prayed like this,

"Ya Allah lindungilah aku daripada Syaitan-syaitan...blabla..." HAHAHA! Adoii

However, the meaning is almost close to the translation of Al-Fatihah. That was when he is at the age of 7 if i'm not mistaken. 

To share everything might be too long for this entry. Plus I have exam tomorrow and on Tuesday. Both are killer papers...and I laid back and relax, hehe. 

That's the most precious memories that I won't forget. FOREVER. 

Those days...I will wish for the time to freeze, but the time won't stop. Ticking and ticking. So here we are, 22 and 21. Oh, and I still remember when you are like 5 or 6 (I don't remember), you called me 'Ayah'. Ayah? Hahaha, Should be Sarah, but you missed the S and your R turned to be Y.

Those days...(smile)

Till then, ma'assalamah ^__^

     

Walk the Talk

Assalamualaikum.

Have you ever heard this? Walk the talk. Hmm, this is the hardest thing for me to do. 

Sometimes or is it many times I feel like I don't want to give any advice/motivation/any good things anymore. Because I am afraid that I could not follow what am I saying to others. You know what, only successful person would have the confidence to tell others on what is right and what is wrong. Cause they have been through it! They manage to hit the problem and stand up from failure. Means that, they already practice before they spread the words to others. Do you get what I mean? *Ok my language fail to understand you. Oh nooo! How am I going to pass the interview?? (-_-" all of a sudden)*

I mean, they not only say this and that, but they also prove what they do. Is there any use if you are good at talk but not do it? I think I am not a person who walk the talk. Well, I thought that I am, but... *cry a river (T.T)

"O you who believe! Do you say that which you do not do. It is most hateful in the sight of Allah that you say that which you dot no do." (As-Saff 61:3)

Scary isn't it? We have so much responsibilities on what are we saying. We asked others to do this and that, but are we really do it? But the feeling that I have right now, actually kills me. Because I am in between to deliver something good or just keep in silent. In the end, I tend to be quite. But you are wrong Maisarah! YOU ARE WRONG! You know what? The Satan has won this battle! And you? Are you really want them to let you down for the rest of your life? Do you really don't care of others, so you don't want to invite them to good deeds, just because you have been loss in your own feelings? 

"And from among you, there must be a society, community or party that should invite people to all that is good and enjoin the doing of all that is right and forbid the doing of all that is wrong." (Al-Imran 2:104)

There you go! By hook or by crook, you have to convey something good to people so that they will do the good deeds. Yes, this is the challenge that you have to take Maisarah!  Don't afraid of them. This is somehow will lead you to be responsible on what are you saying to others. You don't have to wait to be good to convey something good because time won't wait. On your way to be good, there must be something good you have to do. 

This is the process. To be good, you have to find it, not wait for it cause it won't meet you. Same like when you want to ride a cab. You can't just wait as it will take a long time especially at a peak hour. You have to at least try find one by dialing any cab agency. Even if you are not calling their number, still you have to stop the taxi and please do not hope the taxi will find you. See? There is nothing in this world that is easy. You have to strive for it in order to get what you want.

Back to the main point, I know it is hard sometimes for us to invite others to do good things because we ourselves are not good enough. But, I believe that eventually, we will try to walk our talk as the responsible is ours. Or else...

We always stuck in a situation. Stuck in between the good and bad moves. Just keep praying that Allah help us in doing what are we saying, instead saying without do it.

p/s: I don't know if you understand my bad written English, but after all you must get my point, Walk the Talk. I'm not perfect nor good enough to say this, because I, myself still has a lot to improve.  

Ma'assalamah ^_^

Lelaki

Dulu,
Bila disebut lelaki,
Wanitanya mendongak megah,
Lelaki kami Asadullah, Saifullah,
Tokoh ramai tak terkira,
Kini,
Bila disebut lelaki,
Wanitanya menunduk lemah,
Tokoh kami sedikit sekali,
Ramainya, boneka Yahudi.

Dulu,
Bila disebut lelaki,
Wanitanya tenang dihati,
Lelaki kami menjaga, melindungi,
Kini,
Bila disebut lelaki,
Wanitanya mahu cabut lari,
Lelaki khianat, perogol bersiri.

Dulu,
Bila seorang wanita teraniaya,
Sepasukan kuda putih membela,
Al-Mu'tasim kebanggaan wanita,
Kini,
Ribuan wanita suci dipenjara,
Fatimah diperkosa minta dibela,
Lelaki tunduk tak bertenaga.

Dulu,
Bila wanita di bawah jagaannya,
Lelaki memagari sehabis daya,
Tiada siapa berani menggoda,
Kini,
Bila wanita di bawah jagaannya,
Lelaki tak kisah auratnya terbuka,
Wanitanya dibiar bebas, binasa.

Dulu,
Lelaki menggadai harta dan nyawa,
Untuk mengangkat kemuliaan agama,
Kini,
Lelaki menggadai ketinggian agama,
Demi nafsu, dunia dan seisinya.

Dulu,
Lelaki bermatian mencipta sejarah,
Kental berjihad, tekun berdakwah,
Kini,
Lelaki hanya menyanjungi sejarah,
Diri bermalasan, tenaga tak dikerah.

Dulu,
Lelaki memperjuangkan deen dan ummah,
Al-Farouq, Zunurain mati terbunuh,
Kini,
Lelaki memperjuangkan diri dan kroninya,
Hingga sanggup membunuh.

Dulu,
Lelaki bersatu menghadapi musuh,
Angkatannya kuat dan teguh,
Kini,
Lelakinya berpuak dan berpecah,
Sesama sendiri saling bertelingkah.

Kembalilah lelakiku,
Pada kelelakianmu,
Kami rindukan lelaki dulu,
Acuan Madrasah Rasul.

Srikandi,
Damsyik, Syria                                          
                                                 

-sumber: Novel Syabab Musafir Kasih, tulisan Fatimah Syarha- 

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Oh, i could not write more...tulisan mati di sini. Sekian, ma'assalamah.